On Habits and Motivation

This piece was written on February 27th, 2022, on the Sunday before Great Lent. It was originally written as a contemplation, a revisit to a conversation I had with my Tasoni, and finally a culmination of my experience in the public education field in spiritual perspective.

I wanted to share this reflection with you before we go into Lent. My Tasoni (my priest's wife) asked me today what's the best way to motivate children to read the Bible and want to read it earnestly. Tell you the truth, I almost didn't want to answer. I felt that the question was above me. And I asked God to grant me His answer. This is what ended up coming out of my mouth.

How do we motivate children to read the Bible? We don't.

"BuT mEnA?! HoW cAn YOU sAy ThAt?! We NeEd tO mOtIvAtE tHeM tO rEad?!"

No, please don't motivate them. here's why.

Children are children. They don't know any better. What the parents enforce is what the child learns and what the child learns becomes their habits!

Growing up in Egypt, my mom forced me to wake up early ever since I was 2 years old and took me to church (this was early 2000's Egypt we didn't have iPhones and iPads to keep kids quiet). I would get frisky during liturgy. So what would she do? She had me draw the saints. She wasn't looking for perfection, but she'd have me look at perfected people and learn to draw some outlines and work on getting to know them. Recently, I saw an interview of an elderly man who speaks fully Coptic (they speak Coptic natively, not just in church, but as his native language; Coptic is his mother tongue, not Arabic) He was asked in the interview how he managed to learn Coptic and master it as his first language. His answer was so simple and it was the key to answering my Tasoni's question. He said, "Before I was allowed to go outside the house, my mother would force me to recite an entire passage in Coptic from the Bible. Sometimes, my uncle also would reward me if I read large passages in coptic correctly.” Therein lies the simple answer. It had to come from people more mature than the children. The mother knew the impact God's word has in its original translation. She didn't need to explain to the young boy why she did that, and quite honestly she should not even explain. All she did was enforce a rule, "No going out before you read your Bible... in Coptic!"

I used work with kids as young as kindergarten up to 3rd grade. I see with my own eyes what unrestrained and inconsequential parenting does to kids. They start fighting, kicking, rebelling. They fall behind in their academics. And is it really their fault? No. More often than not, it's the parents fault. Parents sometimes treat school as daycare, supposing that however many hours a week they are in school is enough for them to learn. Short answer: It isn't.

And now back to the question that started this all. How can we motivate our children to love the Bible and read it often? You don't. Parents. You need to make it a priority in your life that your kids learn God's word. God's word has to have a

primary spot in your life. What you make a priority in your life channels into your kids. I’m not here to judge, but for the love of our dear Lord, the three hours they spend in church won't measure up to how they spend their time at home.

If you care about your salvation, and your future family's salvation, take this seriously. Don't motivate kids. Force it on them while you can still mold. You're the parent. Your job is to direct and mold your kids into vessels of truth and godliness. Future parents, and anyone seriously spiritually inclined, take the time while you don't have kids of your own to reflect seriously about your priorities, because these will be your child's priorities when they are in their most critical and formative phases.